a father's first spring

day 8. a father’s first spring. by the avett brothers

okay so I’m no father. I’m no mother either. I am an aunt though, and if you know me, you know I am worse than a bragging grandmother* who only wants to talk about their grandchildren. mostly grandma’s don’t have much of a life. I do, and I would still rather sit around and show you pictures of my niece. yes, I’m sure the cashier at babygap really wanted to hear that my niece is sitting up on her own… not. I can’t help it, and I’m not sorry.

this song can literally make me cry anytime I hear it if I pay attention to the words. every single time. it makes me think of the first time I held my niece, because she is that awesome.

I knew I would love her even before I knew I would have a niece. that was never a doubt in my mind. what I did not know was that it was humanly possible to love anyone as much as I love maya. I’m honestly scared to have my own child if this is even half of what it feels like to have them. I am probably going to implode from feeling too much emotion.  another thing I’m scared of is that she is going to think I’m a total weirdo because I’m slightly obsessed with her.

*side note: you should know, my grandma is the exact opposite of aforementioned stereotype, so for years I have been dying to get her a crewneck sweatshirt that says “grandma’s gang” with all of our pictures on it. she’d have to wear it because she would feel bad, and then she would have no choice but to talk to the “gals” about us. it is my hope that writing this down for people to see will force me into doing it.