Thursday, August 22, 2013

stay young, do dancing.

day 84. stay young, go dancing. by death cab for cutie.

happy 29th birthday to me.

today i did a lot of thinking about just HOW MUCH I LOVE the people in my life. and let me tell you, it is lots. years go by and by, and though i don't feel any older, i sure do feel luckier and luckier each day to be surrounded by the people I have in my life. I can't remember the last time that I ever felt alone, or unhappy, or unable to face a new day because I'm constantly brought up and supported by my friends and my lovely family.

I know that my "realist" attitude often gets taken to be more pessimistic or dramatic than anything, but make no mistake I love this life I lead. my birthday has just been a great day to take it all in, and realize I AM SO LUCKY and GRATEFUL for everything that surrounds me. I know it should be scary entering my last year as a 20-something, but it's not. don't get me wrong, I have no idea where the past 10 years have gone, and that is terrifying - but life just keeps getting better each day I roll out of bed. & I've decided that this will be my theme song for year 29 aka my best year yet.

Monday, August 19, 2013

just give me a reason.

day 83. just give me a reason. by pink & nate ruess.

here’s the truth that I’m not quite ready to admit to myself, let alone you. I don’t need someone to walk me home. I am not scared to walk home alone at night or in the sunlight. I just want to spend more time with you.

it’s just not fair that lovesick feels the same whether you are falling in, falling out, worried, nervous, anxious, elated. it’s the SAME feeling. and it’s either the worst or the best depending on the situation.

I’m feeling now just like a felt a couple months ago when someone ripped my heart out and I couldn’t eat or sleep or sit still waiting for the feeling to just pass and it did pass. I knew it would. but I don’t think this will. or at least not quite so easily. because when that happened, you were the only person I wanted to talk to. and even though I didn’t admit it even then, that’s when I knew this was going to be a major problem. & of COURSE that is definitely me overreacting. this could be a GREAT thing or it will fizzle and I will be fine because i always am.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

snow white.

82. snow white. by jaymay.

i originally was drawn to this song because it was called snow white. & i thought it would be about princess snow white and that excited me. songs about princesses. this is just one example of what goes through my mind in a typical day.

this is one of those songs that i always thought was beautiful, but could NOT relate to at all. and then one day i found that i could, and that confused me. and worried me. and frankly freaked me out for about 3 months until i admitted the way i was feeling to myself. now comes the time to admit it to the rest of the world because i've hit that breaking point where i feel like i'm about to explode. i'm ABOUT TO TURN 29. HOW AM I STILL HAVING LIFE EXPERIENCES THAT ARE SIMILAR TO 13 YEAR OLDS? HELP ME. secret crushes should end by AT LEAST your mid 20's and i'm pushing 30 here. this cannot be healthy. it just cannot.